Which bits of the local election results coverage made you laugh the hardest? Here are some of my favourite moments

1. Danny Alexander on the BBC claiming that the Lib Dem vote had held up well in areas where the party has a sitting MP – only to have it demonstrated to him with the aid of graphics that their showing in those places was actually slightly more abysmal than elsewhere.



2. The little Asian female BBC reporter in Walsall glumly informing us that Labour had done worse than expected there thanks to the strong UKIP vote – and then finishing off by interviewing two Labour voters who both attacked heartless Tory policies and failed to mention UKIP once. Does the BBC even begin to understand that it isn't business as usual?

3. David Cameron, the leader of a Coalition government, responding to the suggestion that he might be forced to come to sort of arrangement with UKIP ahead of next year’s general election, solemnly assuring us that the Conservatives don’t do deals or pacts. Er...?

4. Ed Miliband, after admitting that Labour had indeed lost some votes to UKIP, assuring us  us that his party would have to persuade Ukippers that it can “change their lives for the better”. Good luck with that, Beaker, given you’ve already ruled out a referendum on EU membership and that your party let three million immigrants into the country during its recent thirteen-year reign of terror, both of which haven't necessarily gone down terrifically well with UKIP supporters. 
(Or maybe it was his conclusion that voters were “fed up with politics”, when the opposite is evidently the case – UKIP, because it offers a genuine alternative, has actually revived our interest in politics. Or it could have been “Professor Bonkers” psephologist John Curtice revealing that Labour’s share of the vote in key wards had actually fallen 10% since 2012.)

Yes, UKIP didn’t make serious inroads in London, but, as Lib Dem-supporter John Cleese once pointed out, London is no longer an English city. But congratulations - in particular - to the voters of Essex for giving UKIP such enthusiastic support, thereby keeping alive Eastern England’s proud tradition of giving this country’s arrogant ruling elite a bloody nose when it gets too big for its boots.

Possibly the most heartening aspect of today’s results is that voters seem to have been utterly unaffected by our left-liberal politico-media elite’s disgraceful decision to play the racism card so relentlessly during the last week of the campaign: perhaps they’ll think twice before resorting the same shameful, insulting tactic next year.

Roll on Sunday’s Euro election results – if I could still drink I’d already have the champagne on ice.