Right-of-centre parties got 51% of the UK Euro vote - so why did the Tories come third?

Tim Montgomerie wrote this in The Times last May:

Hat-tip: A Libertarian Rebel

Which bits of the local election results coverage made you laugh the hardest? Here are some of my favourite moments

1. Danny Alexander on the BBC claiming that the Lib Dem vote had held up well in areas where the party has a sitting MP – only to have it demonstrated to him with the aid of graphics that their showing in those places was actually slightly more abysmal than elsewhere.

Cameron on the Nairobi outrage – Dave, enough with the Islamophilia already!

In a snatched interview with the BBC this afternoon, the British Prime Minister, David Cameron confirmed that three British nationals have died at the hands of Muslim killers in Nairobi, and warned us to expect more bad news. Then, without prompting, he demonstrated our left-liberal elite’s obsession with exonerating  Islam for any blame for the seemingly endless acts of barbaric savagery committed by self-professed adherents of the religion of peace:

We’re being dragged into war because our liberal elite is bored

Let’s face it, sorting out a moribund economy is no fun. Neither is reforming the welfare state. Or stopping hospitals torturing patients. Or dealing with the consequences of allowing two of the horsemen of the modern apocalypse – rampant immigration and multiculturalism – to ride roughshod over the land. It’s slow, painful, unrewarding, unpopular work. But ordering air-strikes against a cruel dictator in a distant country which now has nothing to do with us is peasy – and, with any luck, you’ll be out of office by the time someone has to sort out the consequences!

Good grief! It’s 20 years since a British Chancellor was given the heave-ho for being useless

Yes, I know – I could hardly believe it myself, but the last Chancellor to have the epaulets officially ripped from his shoulders was Norman Lamont, who was reshuffled/sacked on 23rd May 1993. If the government were a private sector business, this would signal 20 years of steady-to-spectacular success – it would mean that the economy had been in such continuous rude health that four chancellors in a row got to hold on to their jobs until either the electors turfed their party out of power, or a vacancy materialised at No. 10.

The main threat to UKIP’s chances in 2015 might be Ed Miliband's astonishing uselessness

Hopeless

Ed Miliband just gave the worst interview by any party leader in the whole of human history. Martha Kearney asked him a series of perfectly reasonable, not particularly difficult questions on Radio Four’s World at One earlier today which reduced the Labour leader to a stuttering, blustering, discombobulated wreck. I could have done better. You would certainly have done better. Practically any other Briton over the age of, say, five would have put in a more convincing performance.

David Cameron a victim of typically smutty, juvenile British "humour" - no sniggering at the back!

(Hat-tip: Guido Fawkes)

Real Tories – it’s time to abandon your party to all the gutless, scaredy-cat, pantywaist centrists

Another bed-wetting quisling

Poor old Iain Duncan Smith has admitted that the government has given up trying to cut benefits, and is now just trying to manage an inevitable increase in welfare spending: “All those on benefits will still see cash increases in every year of this Parliament.” No matter what the BBC and the Trade Unions and the Guardian and the Labour Party and George Osborne and all the other architects of Britain’s shameful hyper-debt would have us believe, the welfare bill will be £18billion higher in 2015/16 than it was in 2011/12. And this during a period when unemployment – thanks to the private sector – has actually already fallen by 200,000.