I suggest you use it to staunch the copious flow from your constantly bleeding heart, Jon

There's little point in me making fun of this awful, self-righteous bore (Channel 4's relentlessly left-wing main news presenter, Jon Snow, in case you don't recognise him), or any of the other slebs who are taking photos of themselves clutching tampons, as Rod Liddle has done such a splendid job in The Spectator, here.